Here in New york right now, alone in the familiar apartment. My dads at work and first thing I'm going to do tomorrow morning is try to find a job. He won't be able to support even the two of us with me here, I just know it. He's already living like shit. Theres so many things wrong here, and I have to clean soon.
I'd like to work in a cafe, preferrably. I love the smell of coffee and that was my old job. This morning I spent my whole day wandering around manhattan but of course I havent seen the whole place yet. Last night I held Kaylie for what could be my last time. She told me she would never forget about me and I felt the same way. I hated leaving her there in pieces but I had to say bye and left quick, because I didn't want to let her to notice I was close to tears. Go ahead and say it, I know I'm so pathetic, dudes aren't supposed to cry.
I guess its not that bad. Im partially excited to explore and have a new life but Im also really wondering how my friends are doing back there. I have a collection of numbers and emails to keep in touch.
Right now I am always distracted from food. I'm not even hungry and theres a whole lot in my mind. It won't be any time soon that I'll be actually eating :) The weather is colder here too, which means it will burn more calories. I will weigh in this weekend to see how well I've done.
Thanks for supporting me and wishing me luck everyone.
I am so so sorry you had to leave to New York after all. It is very sad that you had to leave everything behind. It is okay to cry, if you feel like it. I'm just super sad you had to leave just when you found the perfect girl. Good luck with looking for new job. Good luck with new life.
ReplyDeleteLove
~ Meg
Well, at least you can make a better life for him. I hope you two get along and such :)
ReplyDeleteChristmas is coming soon, so maybe you could try to go back and see Kaylie and your friends..? It's not bad that you cried--you ARE human after all. Hopefully, things will look up :) Stay strong <3
Don't feel pathetic about crying. It shows that you have emotion, heart, you cared for her and it shows you're human. New York seems like such a sudden change but I hope things start working out, I hope you like it there.
ReplyDeleteLove Anafly
xxx
You sound like a very responsible person, seeing as the first thing you think about is a job.
ReplyDeleteHopefully things aren't as bad as they seem. At least you can text/email your old friends. I'm sure you can visit at some point too.
Good Luck
I'm still sorry you had to leave your whole life behind. I'm proud of you for moving on. You've got a great practical approach to life, you're gonna go far, Nate!
ReplyDeleteIt's not pathetic when guys cry, it's human. I think that not being able to express your emotions in that way is a sign of a lower intelligence!
Hope you find your feet in Manhattan soon. Hell, I know you will! Have a cup-a-joe for me. XXX.
im so jelouse
ReplyDeleteive always wanted to live in new york
but im sorry you had to leave your friends behind
i cant imagine how hard that is
good luck
Strong men also cry.
ReplyDeleteIf you're in NY, then you must be enjoying the hella-cold weather we're having so far this week. :D
Good luck with the job hunt! Are you in the city? I know a few peeps who are hiring--nothing spectacular, but I could put in a good word and tell you where to go.
xoxo