No Thanks, I'm Not Hungry

the life of a TYPICAL emo kid with fag hair. (Not really)

Saturday, December 4, 2010

Thanks Everyone

Okay so today was extremely confusing. Chris, one of my bestfriends told me he was actually bi and had a crush on me. I took it as a joke at first because we sometimes play around like that, calling eachother hot and stuff. Then I noticed he was dead serious and I was creeped out.. i mean I dont have anything against people who arent straight but... It made things awkward as fuck and kind of freaky. I thought I was crashing at his place and we were just gonna hang and play black ops but I guess not... I told him I had some buisness at home and I left. :S I feel bad for that. I know hes not the kind of guy who would do anything to me but its just so hard looking at him in a different way because weve been friends for so long... fuck, I never knew. and i have no idea what to do.

When the afternoon came, I felt like passing out if I didnt eat, so I had a bagel and some grapes before going to work. Now Im feeling really tired but im probably going to do some pushups and crunches anyway.

I want to say I feel very welcomed here :) its true that i am among friends and wonderful kind people here n thank you so much for the awesome comments on my last post. To answer Amy's question,
I've actually always felt this way towards food.. it disgusted me and gradually fatness did too and i do
nt ever wanna become like that. I also love feeling empty. I want to be perfect so BADLYY, so people with perfect bodies triggered it too, I guess. :)
And thanks for the advice, i never knew about the high cals in Monster, I also like rockstar sugar free. :) i love energy drinks too.

Im also addicted to caffiene and coffee. I don't think thats a good thing. Well its probably much better than my old addiction, i used to do drugs all the time and smoke weed. but later on that part of me changed and i rather be 100% pure, no food, and no drugs either. How about u guys? whats your addiction?
Are EDs considered to be an addiction, to feel hungry?

I hope all of you are doing alright, ill be sure to checkout your blogs.

pce, Nate


  1. Hey,
    Thanks so much for your kind comment on my blog! I agree with you that this community is awesome--so many nice people all around. :)

    So sorry that you're having problems with your friend...I wish I could dispense some useful advice, but I've had absolutely zero relationship experience...): Even so, I hope everything goes well with him.

    Also, I envy your ability to just restrain completely from food! I crave food every time I see it, so I really wish I could dislike food.

    Take care!

  2. Maybe you should talk to your friend and tell him you really love having him as just a friend and that you're sorry but it makes you uncomfortable to think about him like that?
    I think you're really strong! Thanks sosoo much for following me.
    You're really thinspiring, and cute. Just sayin'. You should really post more pictures of yourself.. Just for me (: And I love coffee too! It's terribly yummy.
    I wish I had your strength.
    xoxo Ryssa

  3. Sounds crazy. I agree with the above comment. Make it clear you're not into him like that early on. And try not to let it come between you two! It's not worth losing a friend over.
    I definitely think hunger becomes an addiction. It's such a better feeling than fullness is, you know?

  4. My addiction? I smoke cigarettes because they are an appetite depressant. Sorry about your friend. I'm sure if you just explain you aren't into him like that it will return to normal. I'm bi and can flirt with straight female friends and we both know its a joke. Heck we can share beds and we both know we are just friends.
    I know being empty can become an addiction, so can being numb, and hiding.

  5. Yeah, the support you'll get here on blogger is amazing. :)
    I consider ED my addiction. Eating disorders become addictions in every way. One never is cured.

    And I can imagine how awkward it must have been after hearing that from your friend. Wow. Maybe once the situation cools down, tell him how YOU feel. I really hope your friendship turns out okay!

  6. I'd just tell your friend your sorry you ran out, but it just surprised you and you didn't know what to do because you don't feel that way about him.
    I'm sure you guys can be friends like normal, he's still the same guy you've always known, just talk about it.

    My addictions.. weed, and I'd consider this one too.

  7. Morning Nate! (Yawn~ late night again!)

    I'm sorry you had such an awkward experience. It's kinda scary the first time it happens, especially if you didn't see it coming.

    As long as he knows exactly where he stands with you (never gonna happen, Chris!), I can't see why you guys can't still be friends.

    Well done kicking the drugs, caffeine is, by far a better vice, just drink lots of water too! I quit smoking (60-70 cigs a day!) and ephedrine (wrecked my kidneys!) and now food. (started eating to live/survive, instead of the reverse!)

    Life is all about addiction, it's human nature. Find the ones that work for you and go with them, Babe!

    Have a great week. XX.

  8. i'm sorry about your friend - i can imagine it would have been so hard for him to do that but also hard for you because you can't help feeling a bit weird knowing he likes you! maybe you can talk and let him know how you feel. i hope it doesn't change your friendship too much!

  9. That's for sure an awkward situation with your friend. If you guys have been friends for a long time, I would just talk to sure couldn't hurt anything. He told you how he feels so you can surely tell him how you feel right?

    Thanks for the follow btw!

  10. great blog (:
    and i am also very sorry about your friend
    but are you actually sure, that you dont feel anything for him too? dont understand me wrong, its just the way i konw also a frind who fell in love with his best friend, who first said he wouldnt fell the same for him, but when they didnt spend any more so much time together he recognized, that he also was in love with him.

    i m sorry for my bad english, but i'm from germany.

  11. dang, that friend situation is tough! I guess the best thing to do is to tell him in a sincere and nice way you don't like him, or dudes.. but to act normal and still hang out with him because a) he is one of your best friends, and b) that will make him feel a lot better and less embarrassed. I know that its really hard for you to act normal and not awkward now, but its not your problem until he starts coming onto you, its only his problem. Your not the one who's gunna be hurt by rejection in such a weird situation, its him. just food for thought :)

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  13. The friend situation sure isn't very pleasant, but don't let it ruin your friendship with him. If you have been good friends for a long time, maybe just talking about it could help a bit. You know, just letting him know that you don't really like him (if he already doesn't know that).
    And I sure think EDs can be very addictive.
    I used to be addicted to caffeine as well, but I got over it and try to avoid coffee as much as possible. Yay for ending with drugs. Drugs are not worth it! I am definitely addicted to green tea.

    [Sorry I deleted my previous comment but I found so many mistakes there that it was just ridiculous!]

    ~ Meg

  14. hahahha. i think your the first guy ive seen on here, props to you! and woah, that sounds awkward with your friend, let him know whats up. and goood luck with you ED! :)